Year 2007 didn't start as smoothly as I expected. In fact, it's alot worst than "not smooth".

I'm sorry I can't mention names, I would sound a thousand times more horrible if I do. And by now I don't think I have the right to reveal names as well.

To person #1: Believe it or not I feel really really bad. I know no matter how many times I apologize it wouldn't make things better because this time, I really screwed things haven't I? I just hope I'll have a chance to make it up to you. In case we don't patch things up before I leave, I wish you all the best for your last semester and NS. Thanks for being for me all this while.

To person #2: I just got your mail. I guess I can only say I'm lucky there's someone like you in my life yet I dunno how to appreciate it. Sometimes I dunno how to treat you as well. I might appear mean to you, but there's one thing you don't know. I did that because I think it's the best way I can to help you move on. And no, I'm not defending myself, you have every right to hate, scold, or yell at me. Truth is, I feel... sad perhaps? when you said I've become another person and I don't even know why. Anyway sorry for giving you a hard time. Thanks for all you've done.

To person #3 (This person doesn't read my blog and I'm sure of it): I'm sorry for being the rebel daughter I am. Sometimes I don't know how I grow up to be so different from you. And because of that we can't seem to collaborate in many things. I feel tired and exhausted of all the quarreling and yelling which god knows why happens a lot recently. I really really REALLY hope things will get better eventually because at the end of the day, there's no doubt I love you and I always will. Heck, if there's no you there wouldn't be me.

Haih, and what's more is I'm foolish enough to tell the world about how horrible I am. Maybe if I don't do this I can never remind myself how much I dislike how things are working now, and for it I can only blame myself. If you've always wanted to send me hate messages or in anyway insult me now is a good time. Give it all in one blow, then I can start picking up the pieces. As Veenah once said: Sometimes its good to have a breakdown. Let go of all the frustrations and feelings that have been locked up for a few months. That feeling of crying and crying till you cant cry anymore..and theres nothing left to cry about.

Why is it so hard to be happy? I have no problem cheering up myself at times, but sometimes, even the optimist in you gets tired of having to cheer up the pessimist in you all the time.