This thought suddenly stuck me.

Pretty ramdom but well...

Remember the business cycle we learned about last year?? Erm, if you haven't done economics before, it's a horizontal line which curves upwards then downwards, or vise versa. It's like a graph basically and it indicates the fluctuations that occur in the world of business. (Hoho correct anot correct anot??? I remember the facts pretty well eh? XP) Anyway, it's meant to indicate that every economy experiences ups and downs ie boom and recession.

Ok enough with the facts.

I just thought of life, and I think the business cycle is sorta works the same way as life does, or was it the other way round huh? Through my own experiences, I think everything is equal and karma is bound to slap you back if you've done sth bad. There's nothing permanent in life. Nothing stays the way it is forever. That stage of life which you feel is torturing might just end the next day when you win a lottery, well that's just an example - a pretty lame one I know. I meant to say, EVERYthing is unpredictable right? And I just think that people get what they deserve. And no one can be forever lucky, popular, rich, (and insert whatever term here as preferred).

I used to be very lucky, as in not win lottery everyday that kind la. Lucky in the sense that I have many friends and I get what I want easily (at least easier compare to now :p), also I have my family with me no matter what (though I still do now hehe). I can go out whenver I want (but still got curfew la) and eat whatever I want, basically life's good. Not trying to brag la, just that through these few weeks I've come to realize all these and suddenly feel shame of how unappreciative I used to be, and how it never occur to me that I'm considered one of em in the lucky bunch.

Of course, I'm not rich, I live in a 2 story teres house in USJ 11 so I think I fall in the category of average? but hey I'm not poor so there's nothing to complain about. And now I still remember complaining about how I don't get to drive the car or go out till late night or meet up with my friends whenever I want. And worst of all, I remember saying something which sound like "I'll get the freedom I want when I come to Melbourne" when I quarreled with my mum once before I left Msia. Sigh duno who else got such ungrateful daughter like that.

So back to life at Melbourne. I'm not getting use to it possibly because I'm not use to not having friends around cuz back in Msia I don think there'll b a time when I have nobody to call for a meet up or shopping trip, possibly cuz I know my heng dai ji mui's will never say no to either one of it wahaha. And also because we just sorta know we'll be seeing each other very frequent. And now that I'm so far away it just feels like all the shoulder I've relied on are no longer there though I can still talk to my friends everyday through MSN and see what's going on with them through their blogs. But the feeling is different, it just is, and as I'm typing this I sorta know where's all this going again.

Ok make a switch, different approach.

Nowadays things can be so random. Too much freedom I presume? I don't think it's a good thing, not for me anyway. All the uncertainties in life, it creeps me out sometimes. Things can be so unpredictable, and somehow I don't think I can cope with life smartly. Honest speaking, I really feel like an adult these days, having to take care of what I like to call "adult stuff" such as banking, paying bills, monitoring my spending, making choices, making decisions etc stuff I never imagine myself doing a month ago.

Oh and did I mention the weather is crazy here? It can be 33 degress one day and 18 the other. I'm don't like it when it's cold :( can't take it, but well must make an adjustment since I'll be here for 3 years.

Speaking of which, Yee Ming and Chu Xiang will be going back during winter break. As for me, the initial plan was going back after one year, but I have an urge to go back also, probably because I haven't fully settle down yet. Yes la flight ticket damn expensive, and I have to pay rent as well even if I'm not in Melb. Parents say I can if I really want, but initially my dad was gona come here in May if he gets cheaper ticket from Mata Fair. So if I go back he won't be coming cuz the flight ticket alone is gona cost alot. So it only sums up to one solution: work. Hmmmmmmmm... now how should a proper resume look like ar??

Woah duno how I manage to type to much in less than 15 minutes, guess there's alot to get off my shoulder. Some of you may think why the hell am I still complaining when I have the chance to go overseas, maybe it's the mindset and mine is still somewhere at home? I duno, I want to stop and enjoy life, maybe have a lil more fun but everyday seems dull, I mean, classes are not as bad now, in fact I'm like the fact that I don't have to read through stacks of notes like commerce students do but the assignments are quite a heavy load and I'm starting to feel the pressure. Basically I wake up, I go for classes, I come back, have dinner then do work sleep. I had to sacrifice my weekends doing research as well cuz that's the only time I don't have to travel to campus.

I need a new perspective in life!!! *attempt to motivate self*

You know hor, I think most of the people are enjoying life here. I duno why am I the only one still sulking ~.~ Geeeez maybe I need to do some reality check or start doing something to improvise and make life better.......... but what? :(

Ok have to stop, can't believe I wasted 30 mins rambling. Back to sketching, reading, and looking at paintings/portraits and trying to menghayati them even though some doesn't make sense heh.

And uh... I'll try to stop posting up long post like these which is a waste of effort to be read. take care everyone!