I just need to let out some steam. Don't read.

My head is getting so big it can explode anytime soon.

All this while, I've been trying so hard to keep up,
trying so hard to understand this subject
contributing at least a day on every weekend for the projects
pushing myself
sleeping at shitty hours
because of YOU, who's NEVER satisfied with my work.
only tells me I'm WRONG and never tells me how to fix it or provide suggestions for solution
never allow students to do what they want like the other lecs
you're the reason I have so much spots on my face :(
the reason I never go out during weekends
the reason I'm not enjoying my studies
the reason I felt guilty sleeping before 3
the reason I felt so stress out every single time before your class
the reason I brainstorm until my brain's gona explode @@"
the reason I hate this subject even though I know deep down I actually like it
the reason I'm constantly comparing myself to others
the reason I don't have a life.

BAH

And now I'm just tired of it. NO MORE. I only have one more of your class until it's END of SEM 1 HOORAY. After this last project, I'm gona celebrate freedom lol. And if I have the guts, say it to your face how much I h8 u hmmmph :S

*Still very mad*

If you havent guess it, I'm referring to my lecturer.

She's a total bitch! and don't you tell me I'm not respectful.

She just loves telling me how crappy my ideas are, like they belong to the bin or sth.

Bah, so what if they are crap? It's my work and being a part of this course, I personally think we should be able to flaunt our *ehem* artistic skills, and not be bound by all the bullshit limitations. And please, there's not such thing as WRONG in art (or is there? :S) The fact that YOU don't like it doesn't make it WRONG. Where's the fairness in it if you grade us based on how much you like our work.

We're supposed to come up with 3 concepts for our recent project. Today is one-to-one session, I was the second one to talk to her. I only managed to come up with 2 concepts so she made me stay in class to come up with another one until I could leave. Fair enough, I stayed. But then when I wanted to present to her my 3rd and last concept, she refused to listen, saying that she wants to talk to all the other students first.

" NO NO NO. You're gona have to wait till I'm done with the others."

Fine. I waited.. and waited... until ppl left one by one... until it's past my class time. I waited for around 50 mins.

Since it's past class time she has another class coming in. Some of the students in the first class are still there cuz they haven't talk to her. Then finally, when it's MY TURN, she just HAD to announce she's not gona continue looking at our concepts and asked us to LEAVE. Yes of all times.

YEAH IT JUST SO HAPPEN TO BE MY TURN, AFTER WAITING FOR 50 MINS DOING NTH WHEN I HAVE BETTER THINGS TO DO.

So of course I was mad. I went up to her and told her that she's made me wait for 50 mins. And you know what she said? In a mocking tone she went "Oh sorry charlene~" MOCKING TONE~ GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.

BITCH.

So I thought I might as well just tell her in a few secs. BUT NO, SHE WASN'T LISTENING.

T_T Why do I get such lecturers? WHY?!

Don't you go and tell me I'm over reacting ok! It's been 1 hr since I left. I basically went to have lunch then to the library. Lunch at 3 because she didn't give us a break like she did in every other classes. And until now I'm still MAD. All the anger must've accumulated since the day she told me told me my ideas are crap.

Sometimes I hate the way she makes me doubt my ability to take this course. Maybe I'm just not cut out for this? Or maybe I'm not creative enough for this subject? Don't get me wrong, I like the fact that I don't have exams and all hence won't have to come face to face with never ending lines in super thick books that like last time, but she's driving me nuts!

:S

God I just hate her :|

*

Art history exams tomorrow. EEEEeeeep *depress* :(

P/s: Hmm why don't I feel any better after blurting out. ><