Dreams.

So fracture yet unreal. The instance I gain conciousness, I realize immediately whatever I thought happened didn't actually took place.

In that instance of transition from, my mind runs through numerous thoughts.

Sometimes I am relieved my dream wasn't a real-life event.
Sometimes I wish it was.
Sometimes I wonder what if it was.
Sometimes I wonder why would I have dreamt of that at the first place.
Sometimes I wonder if the dream is supposed to mean something.
Sometimes I wonder if I just go back to sleep will my dream continue.


I usually forget my dreams after awhile, even the momentous ones. But then again, there's some things you just wouldn't forget that easily. Being hunted down, running for my life so dearly I can even feel the sweat running down my neck and my heart thumping so vigorously as if it's about fall out from my chest. That tension. The dream may be unreal but the anxiety can never be more genuine. And then in this other dream, I was dating this other classmate of mine, I was cheating. That was one dream I never told anyone because I was ashamed of it. I still am. God knows why did he appear in my surreal world for I do not have feelings for him at all. Then of course, dreams of me finally going back to Malaysia. I don't feel homesick anymore, but that doesn't mean I don't miss home. Just yesterday (or was it today), I dreamt of the total opposite of that.

My parents are no longer coming to Aussie. I was back in Malaysia and forbidden to go out, I had a baby brother and my parents gave so much attention to him they almost abandoned this daughter, my imaginary lil brother doesn't recognize me as I've been away for so long and it tears me. My friends didn't contact me even after a week I'm back and I stayed home everyday looking at my piano.

Bizarre? It sure didn't seem so when I was there in that imaginary world I made in my sleep. Dreams like these haunts me, even after I regain full conciousness. It's fake, I know that, but still, it doesn't stop my mind running through the possibilities it would happen, and then I get paranoid for nothing. But then again, how can I be so sure?

Dreams are supposed to be fake, right?